Five Questions with Mr. Lobenstien

Teacher Brad Lobenstein works his satchel on his birthday. Along with this stylish bag, his beard and flannel are other staples in his style.

We’ve all seen him before. A bearded man decked out in flannel who looks like he could kill a bear with his hands, but would most likely hug that bear instead. Mr. Lobenstein is a man of great lumberjack style, interesting hobbies, and fascinating stories. We talk to the man himself to ask him a few questions about what made him who he is today.

 Paw Print (PP): So you like to have your classes call you by different names. Please explain the nicknames “Smoke Jaguar,” “Mr. Lobi,” and any other ones you’ve adopted over the years.

 Mr. Lobenstein (L): Alright, Smoke Jaguar came from, I think it was the Incas. That was the name of one of their gods. We were talking about the Incan Empire and my students thought it was a pretty sweet name for a god so I thought, “Hey, why don’t you guys start calling me that?” Seagull was also pretty popular a couple years ago. There’s also Lobenstein, a common nickname. I do ask, though, that students refer to me as Mr. Lobi until I get to know them enough and that they refrain from the standard Lobi.  

 PP: I see you rock the lumberjack look. When did this trend start?

L: That trend goes a long ways back. It probably started around the time that I started being able to walk upright. I’ve always had an affinity for flannel and plaid is truly my favorite color.

 PP: You don’t eat meat…are you afraid of protein or is there a deeper reason behind this choice?

 L: Nope, I love protein and I do eat fish. I do eat some non-plant foods. I love all proteins and I love all the good foods out there.  A long time ago it started where I wasn’t eating as much meat and I kind of liked that so I kept going with it.

 PP: Do you shampoo your beard? Just a guesstimation, how long does it take you to groom your facial hair?

L: I would say shampooing and part of the typical face washing. I also do a combing of it when it gets a little longer.

 PP: I hear you like canning and cooking. Please explain these hobbies.

 L: I’ve always loved to cook. I’ve worked in restaurants before teaching most of my life. I got into canning because I love pickles, canned tomatoes, jam, and stuff like that, and I realized I could make them better than the stuff I bought in stores and it was cheaper. It’s a way to save and preserve the harvest. I also smoke cheese. We’ve got a smoker and I smoke cheese, and when I go salmon fishing, I smoke salmon too.


 PP: Would you rather wear a meat dress or eat that meat dress?

L: I’d say wearing the meat dress would be fun, you know, just a steak outfit.

 PP: Are you insulted that Tony Boerger talks to students often about kicking you out of the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club?

L: If I’m not mistaken, Mr. Boerger is NOT a member of that club and never has been. He tried to join, but many of his tendencies kept him from joining early on.

 PP: Finish this joke: Why did the chicken wear flannel?

L: Because he had very good taste.