Business Education teacher Megan Finch reminisced about her life-changing decision to become an adoptive mother.
“Adoption was the best route for me,” said Finch.
Finch attended an adoption forum presented by Gunderson Lutheran. While at the forum in the fall of 2005, she listened to parents talk about the process they went through to become adoptive parents. Also at the forum were adoption agencies to further explain the process.
Finch decided to adopt and contacted an adoption agency in August of 2006. After a series of background checks, lots of paperwork and references, the next step that came was waiting.
“Waiting is the absolute worst time because there’s just so much uncertainty,” Finch said. “There’s nothing to keep you busy. It’s like, do I paint a nursery? Do I put the crib together? Or…would that be a constant reminder of who isn’t here yet?”
Finch remembers how long and stressful the wait was. She didn’t know how long the wait was going to last. A month? A year? So many questions were flowing through her mind.
But she wasn’t the only one with questions.
“I think people have questions and concerns, even family members, which is natural,” Finch said.
Finch remembered how her mother was supportive. She also recalled how her sister and grandmother bought clothes for the newest member of the family, showing their support as well.
“My dad was confused because he grew up in a generation where you had kids to help out on the farm. No one had kids because they wanted to have kids,” explained Finch. “He was confused at why I wanted to become a mother.”
Another discussion that popped up frequently involved nurture versus nature. People say who a person is biologically makes them who they are, but Finch says nurture is a very powerful element when raising a child. Finch believes nurture is underrated. She also believes the art of parenthood is a difficult one.
“Parenthood is challenging, period, whether you’re raising children that you conceived biologically or whether you’ve chosen to adopt a child,” said Finch. “I think there are challenges in parenthood either way.”
Finch recalled reading an article where an adoptive parent said that he was glad his child didn’t have some of his qualities and characteristics. He talked about the kind spirit of his son, which was overwhelming. He was happy his child had attributes he might not have gotten from his father.
There are also concerns related to raising children of adoption, Finch admitted. One issue included attachment, which meant the child not get attached to the adoptive parent(s). Another serious issue is the health of the child. If the birth mother didn’t eat healthy, and excercise, not take care of herself properly, that can lead to the child having health issues. When someone adopts a child, the medical situation will be different.
Mallory Finch is a blue-eyed blonde from Siberia, Russia. She is very energetic, according to Finch. She also loves riding her bike and ice skating. According to Finch, Mallory is adventurous. She always wants to try new things and see new things. Mallory especially likes art projects.
“To use gluesticks and colors and markers and glitter is, like, the highlight of her day,” Finch said.
Now, Mallory is four-and-a-half years old, living happily with her adoptive mother. As the years go on, Finch and Mallory will define the word nurture with the lives they live together.